If I Had A Hammer, There'd Be

Who Discovered We Could Get Milk From Cows, And What Did He Think He Was Doing At The Time?

I Hate All Those Weathermen, Too, Who Tell You That Rain Is Bad Weather. There's No Such Thing As Bad Weather, Just The Wrong Clothing.

I've Never Done A Comedy Club In My Life. It's Weird Because I Don't Have The Same Background As Most Comics. I Don't Have A History Of Going Up And Only Doing Eight Minutes.

Never Trust A Man, Who When Left Alone With A Tea Cosey... Doesn't Try It On.

Tread Gently On Anyone Who Looks At You Sideways.