If I Had A Hammer, There'd Be

So, Have You Heard About The Oyster Who Went To A Disco And Pulled A Mussel?

I Don't Believe In Angels And I Have Trouble With The Whole God Thing. I Don't Want To Say I Don't Believe In God, But I Don't Think I Do. But I Believe In People Who Do.

I Love Fishing. It's Transcendental Meditation With A Punchline.

What Is It With Mcdonald's Staff Who Pretend They Don't Understand You Unless You Insert The 'mc' Before The Item You're Ordering? It Has To Be A Mcchicken Burger...a Chicken Burger Gets Blank Looks. Well, I'll Have A Mcstraw And Jam It Into Your Mceyes, You F**cking Mctosser!

Tread Gently On Anyone Who Looks At You Sideways.