If Someone Else Is Paying For It,

I'm Used To Explaining To People Why My Jokes Were Funny.

I Changed The Face Of Comedy. I Used To Be Funny.

In Real Life I'm A Tall, Blond Christian.

I Don't Know If I Change My Act From Century To Century. Sometimes I'm Onstage Doing Imitations And References To People Who Have Been Dead For 50 Years.

Back When Jerry Seinfeld Was Just Another Comedian Hanging Around The Clubs, I'd Imitate Him To Amuse Myself And The Other Comics. The Club Owners Would Say, 'what Are You Doing That For? Nobody Knows Him.'