If The Gas Pedal On Your Car

You Might Be A Redneck If You Celebrate Groundhog Day Because You Believe In It.

You Might Be A Redneck If More Than One Living Relative Is Named After A Southern Civil War General.

If You Ever Start Feeling Like You Have The Goofiest, Craziest, Most Dysfunctional Family In The World, All You Have To Do Is Go To A State Fair. Because Five Minutes At The Fair, You'll Be Going, 'you Know, We're Alright. We Are Dang Near Royalty.'

We Really Didn't Have The Option Of Being Couch Potatoes When I Was Growing Up. There Were Only Three Television Channels And The Only Kid's Programming Was On Saturday Morning. We Always Played Outside Until We Could Hear Mom Calling Us (not By Cell Phone But With Her Hands Cupped Around Her Mouth) That It Was Dinner Time.

Nowadays You Can't Even Spank Your Kids. No, Gotta Give 'em A Time Out. My Dad Would Take Time Out Of His Busy Day... To Whip Our Ass.