If You Find It Hard To Laugh

I Have An Agreement With The Houseflies. The Flies Don't Practice Law And I Don't Walk On The Ceiling.

Remember Men, You Are Fighting For The Ladies Honor, Which Is Probably More Than She Ever Did.

No, Groucho Is Not My Real Name. I Am Breaking It In For A Friend. I Never Forget A Face, But In Your Case I'll Be Glad To Make An Exception. I Find Television Very Educating. Every Time Somebody Turns On The Set, I Go Into The Other Room And Read A Book. I Have Had A Perfectly Wonderful Evening, But This Wasn't It. I Didn't Like The Play, But Then I Saw It Under Adverse Conditions - The Curtain Was Up.

When I Invite A Woman To Dinner, I Expect Her To Look At My Face. That's The Price She Has To Pay.

A Man Who Says He Can See Through A Woman Is Missing A Lot.-groucho Marx A Man's Only As Old As The Woman He Feels.