If You Haven't Got Any Charity In

Timing Is The Essence Of Life, And Definitely Of Comedy.

When She Started To Play, Steinway Came Down Personally And Rubbed His Name Off The Piano.

I Always Like To Go To Washington D.c. It Gives Me A Chance To Visit My Money.

Everybody Is Afraid They Won't Have Any Money After They Die, But Jack Benny Discovered A Way To Take It With Him. He Had His Appendix Taken Out And A Piggy Bank Put In.

If They Liked You, They Didn't Applaud -- They Let You Live.