If You're The President You Only Have

I'm Like The Hulk On Stage. It's Way Over The Top. That's Bizarro Chris. Sometimes I Get Off Stage And Go What Did I Say?! I'll Watch One Of My Stand-up Specials A Year Later And Go Eww, That Was Mean.

Shaq Is Rich. The White Man Who Signs His Check... Is Wealthy. "ah, Here You Go, Shaq. Go Buy Yourself A Bouncing Car. Bling, Bling!"

No, I Want Big Ol' Titties In My Face!

I'm A Nerd. I'm A Little Guy... The Last Guy You'd Expect In A Romantic Movie.

The Thing That Surprised Me The Most Is Just How Much Money Women That Weren't Rich Were Paying For Their Hair. When You're In A Beauty Parlor In Harlem Next To Abandoned Buildings And Somebody's Paying Five Grand For A Weave, That's A Bit Much. I Think This Is, In A Weird Way, Part Of The Health Care Debate. It's Like, Hmm, There's People With $2000 Weaves That Could Have Bought Health Care With That Weave Money.