If You Really Want To Help The

Wracked With A Hangover I Do My Muttering Over A Black Velvet, A Union Of Champagne And Stout. Don't Be Swindled Into Believing There's Any Cure For A Hangover. I've Tried Them All: Iced Tomatoes, Hot Clam Juice, Brandy Peaches. Like The Common Cold It Defies Solution. Time Alone Can Stay It. The Hair Of The Dog? That Way Lies Folly. It's As Logical As Trying To Put Out A Fire With Applications Of Kerosene.

Drink Reacts On Its Practitioners In Conflicting Ways. One Brave Can Knock Off A Quart Of Scotch And Look And Act As Sober As Herbert Hoover. Another, After Three Martinis, Makes Two-cushion Carroms Off The Chaise Lounge As He Attempts To Negotiate The Bathroom.

In The Theater Lying Is Looked Upon As An Occupational Disease.

If You Know Your Bible And Your Shakespeare And Can Shoot Craps, You Have A Liberal Education.

I Have Three Phobias ...: I Hate Going To Bed, Get Up And Hate Hate Being Alone.