In The Human Race Today, You Came

I Thought I'd Begin By Reading A Poem By Shakespeare, But Then I Thought, Why Should I? He Never Reads Any Of Mine.

You Can Fool Some Of The People All Of The Time, And All The People Some Of The Time, Which Is Just Long Enough To Be President Of The United States.

I'm A Hero Wid Coward's Legs, I'm A Hero From The Waist Up.

I Have The Body Of An Eighteen Year Old. I Keep It In The Fridge.

I Shook Hands With A Friendly Arab. I Still Have My Right Arm To Prove It.