It’s Been A Secret Too Long, But

I Mean, Part Of Me Would Love To Be A Fat Tenured Professor Of Theater Someday.

I Would Be The Worst President In The History Of The United States. Unless You Want The Apocalypse To Happen Really Soon Then Yes, I'll Run For President.

I’m Super Annoying, I’m The Kind Of Guy That If There’s No Recycling Bins Around I Hoard Plastic Bottles, Put Them In My Bag And I Bring Them Home. If I Can Afford It I Want To Put Solar Panels In.

It’s Been A Secret Too Long, But I’m Actually A Straight Male.

I Know. I'm Darren. I Don't Know What I'm Doing Here.