It's Hard To Think Of Yourself As

My Wife Is So Analytical With Raising Kids, And I Am Not. My Feeling Is If They Turn Out Good, Then That Means I Was A Good Daddy And Put A Lot Of Effort Into It. If They Turn Out Bad, It Means They Took After Her Side Of The Family.

Watching A Baby Being Born Is A Little Like Watching A Wet St. Bernard Coming In Through The Cat Door.

You Might Be A Redneck If You Need One More Hole Punched In Your Card To Get A Freebie At The House Of Tattoos.

You Might Be A Redneck If You Watch Cartoons Long After Your Kids Get Bored.

Redneck Is: The Glorious Absence Of Sophistication