You Might Be A Redneck If The

Thank God I'm At That Point In My Career Where I Don't Have To Take Stuff That I Don't Really Want To Do.

Hell, When I Was In High School, A "drive-by Shooting" Meant Somebody Had Their Rear End Hanging Out A Car Window!

Whatever Cleaning Goes On On The Planet, Women Do 99% Of It. But See, Women Are Not As Proud Of Their 99% As Men Are Of Our One! We Clean Something Up, We're Gonna Talk About It All Year Long. It Might Be On The News, You Don't Know. A Woman Could Be Out Re-paving The Driveway. Men Actually Have Enough Gall To Run Out On The Porch And Go "hey Baby? Man, It's Hot As Hell Out Here, Ain't It! Look, Don't Worry About Emptyin' That Ashtray In The Den, I Done Got It, All Right? Did It For You, Sweet Pea. I'm Gonna Go Take A Nap Now, All Right?"

You Might Be A Redneck If You Consider Your License Plate Personalized Because Your Dad Made It In Prison.

My Wife Is Like, You Finally Get Your Own Tv Show, You Can Have Any Kind Of Car You Want And You Get A Darned Truck. But My Brother And I Have The Same Kind Of Truck Now.