It's One Of The Old Show Business

Happiness? A Good Cigar, A Good Meal, A Good Cigar And A Good Woman - Or A Bad Woman; It Depends On How Much Happiness You Can Handle.

In Show Business The Key Word Is Honesty. Once You've Learned To Fake That, The Rest Is Easy.

When They Saw Me Walking Down The Street Smoking A Cigar, They'd Say, 'hey, That 14-year-old Kid May Be Going Places.' Of Course It's Also A Good Prop On The Stage ... When You Can't Think Of What You're Supposed To Say Next, You Can Puff On Your Cigar Until You Think Of Your Next Line.

Critics Are Eunuchs At A Gang Bang.

Nice To Be Here? At My Age It's Nice To Be Anywhere.