It's One Of The Old Show Business

Critics Are Eunuchs At A Gang Bang.

It Takes Only One Drink To Get Me Drunk. The Trouble Is, I Can't Remember If It's The Thirteenth Or The Fourteenth.

Money Is The Root Of All Evil.' Then We Hear, 'a Fool And His Money Are Soon Parted.' What Are They Talking About? If Money Is So Evil, Shouldn't It Be, 'a Wise Man And His Money Are Soon Parted'? And Another Thing, How Does A Fool Get Money In The First Place? I Know Some Fools Who Have A Lot Of Money, But They Won't Tell Me How They Got It, And I Won't Tell Them.

If I Get Big Laughs, I'm A Comedian. If I Get Little Laughs, I'm A Humorist. If I Get No Laughs, I'm A Singer.

I Look To The Future Because That's Where I'm Going To Spend The Rest Of My Life.