I Live In A Van Down By

I'm Just Dandy, I Got A Bowl Of Chocolate Pudding In My Underpants!

I Live In A Van Down By The River.

I Have A Tendency Toward The Pleasures Of The Flesh. It's A Battle For Me, As Far As Weight And Things Like That. But I'm Curbing Them Because I Want To Continue To Do Comedy, And The Two Don't Mix. So I Try To Fight Those Demons.

I Was In The Pritikin Center In Santa Monica Once, Trying To Lose 30 Or 40 Pounds In A Month. I'd Work... On A Treadmill And With The Weights, But It Was Driving Me Nuts. So I Escaped. Tom Arnold Picked Me Up And We Went To Le Dome And Had Tons Of Desserts.

The Point Is, How Do You Know The Guarantee Fairy Isn't A Crazy Glue Sniffer.