Life's A Short Trip. You'll Find Out.

I Feel Sorry For Short People, You Know. When It Rains, They're The Last To Know.

Last Week I Told My Psychiatrist, 'i Keep Thinking About Suicide', And He Told Me From Now I Have To Pay In Advance.

When I Was A Kid I Got No Respect. My Mother Breast Fed Me Through A Straw.

My Wife Is Such A Bad Cook, If We Leave Dental Floss In The Kitchen The Roaches Hang Themselves.

Comedy Is In My Blood. Too Bad It's Not In My Act.