When I Was A Kid I Got

I Get No Respect. The Way My Luck Is Running, If I Was A Politician I Would Be Honest.

My Old Man Never Liked Me. He Gave Me My Allowance In Traveler's Checks.

I Was An Ugly Child. I Got Lost On The Beach. I Asked A Cop If He Could Find My Parents. He Said, 'i Don't Know. There's Lots Of Places For Them To Hide'.

My Wife's So Dumb, She Got A Nail In The Spare!!

They Change The Sheets Every Day... From One Bed To Another.