My Wife's So Dumb, She Got A

My Cousin Is Gay, In School While Other Kids Were Dissecting Frog, He Was Opening Flies.

My Family Was A Bunch Of Drunks. When I Was Six I Came Up Missing, They Put My Picture On A Bottle Of Scotch.

My Wife And I Were Happy For 20 Years. Then We Met.

I Figured Out I'm Bisexual. I Have Sex Twice A Year.

Oh, I Was An Ugly Kid. My Old Man Took Me To The Zoo. They Thanked Him For Returning Me.