My Wife And I Were Happy For

What A Dog I Got, His Favorite Bone Is In My Arm.

I Came From A Real Tough Neighborhood. I Put My Hand In Some Cement And Felt Another Hand.

I Worked In A Pet Store And People Would Ask How Big I Would Get.

I Think My Wife Is Cheating On Me, The Only Thing The Parrot Knows How To Say Is, Quick Out The Window.

Hey, Did Somebody Step On A Duck?