Look, I Can't Go Out With You,

When We Did Eventually Get To The Party - Me Walking Next To Dad's Volvo Driving At Five Miles An Hour - I Had A Horrible Time. Everyone Laughed At First But Then More Or Less Ignored Me. In A Mood Of Defiant Stuffed Oliveness I Did Have A Dance By Myself But Things Kept Crashing To The Floor Around Me. The Host Asked If I Would Sit Down. I Had A Go At That But It Was Useless. In The End I Was At The Gate For About An Hour Before Dad Arrived.

When Uncle Eddie Does His Impression Of 'like A Virgin' It's Like Madonna Is Coming Out Of His Body!' Christ What An Image.

Or If I Truly Gave Up I Could Be Like Wet Lindsay. When Robbie Dumped Her She Got All Pale And Even Wetter Than Normal. She Was Like An Anoraksick. (a Person Who Is Both Very Thin And Wears Tragic Anoraks.) I Just Made That Up As A Joke. Even Though I Am Very Upset I Can Still Think Of A Joke.

Jassie, Guess What I'm Dancing In!' 'i Don't Know, A Bowl?' 'non... I Am Dancing In My Nuddy-pants!

Maybe He Overreacted A Bit." - "a Bit? That's Like Hitler Saying, 'oooh, I Just Meant To Go For A Little Walk, But Then I Accidentally Invaded Poland".