Mmm, Tastes Like Hepatitis!

The Shuttle Is The Worst $20 You'll Ever Save. It Adds 90 Minutes To Whatever A Town Car Or Cab Would Have Been. You Have The Unenviable Choice Between Being Dropped Off Last Or Being Dropped Off First And Having A Bunch Of Losers Who Can't Afford Cab Fare And Have No Friends Or Loved Ones With Cars Knowing Exactly Where You Live.

I Don't Like Those Men Who Claim That Their Wife Is Their Best Friend. . . . I Think Spouses Should Tolerate Each Other And Occasionally Have Sex.

The Very Definition Of 'beauty' Is Outside.

This Is Why The Terrorists Hate Us. And It's Not The Glitter And It's Not The Pomp And Circumstance. We've Got Black And White, We've Got Hispanic And Asian, We Got Gay, Straight, And Guttenberg, All Working Together For One Common Goal: To Get The Mirror Ball. And The Mirror Ball Doesn't Care What Color You Are, And It Doesn't Care How Rich Your Parents Are, And It Doesn't Care What God You Pray To. It's An Even Wooden Floor, And May The Best Man Or Woman Win. And I Say God Bless Dancing With The Stars, And God Bless The Usa.

Everyone Keeps Saying, "oh My God, Oh My God, How Intimidating." It's Like Saying, "how Could You Date Jennifer Aniston After She's Been With Brad Pitt?" I Don't Care.