Mr. Pibb Is A Poor Imitation Of

I Got In An Argument With A Girlfriend Inside Of A Tent. That's A Bad Place For An Argument, Because I Tried To Walk Out, And Had To Slam The Flap.

I Played In A Death-metal Band. People Either Loved Us Or Hated Us. Or They Thought We Were Ok.

I Don't Own A Cell Phone Or A Pager. I Just Hang Around Everyone I Know, All The Time. If Someone Wants To Get A Hold Of Me, They Just Say 'mitch,' And I Say 'what?' And Turn My Head Slightly.

If A Drink Was Ice Cold, It Would Be Impossible To Drink. Because It Would Be Solid. Here's A Drink, Mitch - It's Ice Cold. I Guess I Could Lick It.

I Don't Have Any Children, But If I Had A Baby, I Would Have To Name It, So I Would Get A Baby-naming Book. Or I Would Invite Somebody Over Who Had A Cast On.