My Act Is Based On My Life.

I'm Not An Artist. I Tell Inappropriate Stories And Jokes And I Try To Make People Laugh.

I Was A Soccer Cheerleader. It Doesn't Get Nerdier Than That. I Was Fired From The Soccer Cheerleading Squad After One Year, Which I Believe To This Day Is Unprecedented. You Have To Understand, No One Went To The Soccer Games. In Fact, I Believe Part Of My Duties As A Cheerleader Was To Bake Brownies For The Team.

The Beauty About The D-list Is That People Who Are On It Probably Don't Know They Are.

A Lot Of Celebrities, Especially When You're Talking About The Really Big Ones, Live In What I Call The Fame Bubble. Nobody Ever Says No To Them Or Challenges Them Or Even Teases Them.

I Have Friends Who Are Going Through Chemotherapy, And They Make The Darkest, Most Hideous Cancer Jokes You've Ever Heard.