My Dad Told Me If I Was

When You're Famous, You're Always Famous. It Doesn't Go Away.

Nobody Can Tell Me What I Can Or Can't Do, Except They Can.

I Have A Feeling I'm Going To Wake Up One Day And Say 'i Can't Do Dirty Stuff Anymore, I Want To Go All Clean.' I'll Do Clean Stuff Too, I Like To Entertain People. Then They Egged Me On; We Shot It At The Laugh Factory.

I Love Watching People Get Hit In The Crotch. But Only If They Get Back Up. If Their Teeth Are Bleeding, If They're Really Hurt, If An Ambulance Has To Come, I'm Not Laughing.

Saw A Man In Whole Foods Yelling At His Son, What Are You Doing?! You Know I Don't Eat Bread!! Is There Such A Thing As Health Food Abuse?