My Gran Said Put A Thimble On

If I Were Achilles I Would Put My Foot In A F**k Off Block Of Concrete!

There's Two Positions In Snowboarding. One Is Looking Cool And The Other Is Dead!

If You're Trying To Get A Bit Of Attention, You Can Smash Up Your Hotel Room Or Spend All Your Time Going To Openings Or Doing The Gossip Column Thing. I Just Decided To Do Gigs In French, German, Spanish, And In America.

Comedy Is Like A Very Cokey, Druggy Sugar. You Get Hits Of Comedy, And It's Very, "more, Give Me More Of That Stuff," Because Serotonin Is Being Released In The Brain. So It's Basically, Everyone Becomes Serotonin Junkies, And We Are Serotonin Dealers. And That's What Being A Comedian Is About.

The Pope Is Guarded By The Swiss Guard Who Stand Proudly In Pajamas And Silly Hats.