My Hometown Was So Dull That One

I'd Rather Have Two Girls At Seventeen Than One At Thirty-four.

With The Advance Of Refrigeration, I Hope That Along With The Frozen Foods Someday We Will Have Frozen Conversation. A Person Will Be Able To Keep A Frozen Promise Indefinitely.

I'm A Little Hoarse Tonight. I've Been Living In Chicago For The Past Two Months, And You Know How It Is, Yelling For Help On The Way Home Every Night. Things Are So Tough In Chicago That At Easter Time, For Bunnies The Little Kids Use Porcupines.

My Father Never Raised His Hand To Any One Of His Children, Except In Self-defense.

Television Is A Device That Permits People Who Haven't Anything To Do To Watch People Who Can't Do Anything.