My Parents Used To Take Me To

I'm A Big Fan Of The Mars Bar Diet. You Don't Eat The Mars Bar, You Stick It Up Your Arse And Let A Rottweiler Chase You Home.

Tread Gently On Anyone Who Looks At You Sideways.

A Mate Of Mine Has Just Told Me He's Shagging His Girlfriend And Her Twin, I Said How Can You Tell Them Apart, He Said "her Brothers Got A Moustache!"

When People Say "it's Always The Last Place You Look". Of Course It Is. Why Would You Keep Looking After You've Found It?

Don't Vote, It Only Encourages Them.