My Wife Calls Our Waterbed The Dead

One Teacher Recently Retired With A Half-million Dollars After 30 Years Of Working Hard, Caring, Dedicating Herself And Totally Immensing Herself In The Problems Of The Students. That Gave Her $50. The Rest Of The Money Came From The Death Of A Rich Uncle.

The Problem With Life Is, By The Time You Can Read Women Like A Book, Your Library Card Has Expired.

I Made A Terrible Mistake Last Christmas. My Wife Made Me Swear That I Wouldn't Give Her A Fancy Gift. And I Didn't.

Every Year My Boss Used To Give Me A Bottle Of Expensive Brandy Because I'd Told Him That My Doctor Suggested A Drink Once In A While. This Year My Boss Gave Me The Name Of A New Doctor.

In Washington, A Man Gets Up To Speak And Doesn't Say A Thing, And The Other Men Disagree With Him For Three Hours.