Remember When You Had Your Face Lifted...

I Gave My Wife A Twenty-five-dollar Gift Certificate. She Used It As A Down Payment On A Mink Coat.

Why Are We Honoring This Man? Have We Run Out Of Human Beings?

I Don't Worry Too Much About Sex Education In The Schools. If The Kids Learn It Like They Do Everything Else, They Won't Know How.

I Like To Do Things For My Wife On Valentine's Day. I Open The Door For Her When She Puts Laundry In The Washing Machine.

I Was In A Department Store And I Saw A Weird-looking Gadget. I Asked The Young Saleslady What It Was. She Answered, "it Doesn't Do Anything. It's Just A Christmas Gift."