My Wife Had A Go At Me

'doc, I Can't Stop Singing The Green Green Grass Of Home. 'that Sounds Like Tom Jones Syndrome'. 'is It Common?' 'it's Not Unusual.'

It's Strange, Isn't It. You Stand In The Middle Of A Library And Go Aaaaagghhhh' And Everyone Just Stares At You. But You Do The Same Thing On An Aeroplane, And Everyone Joins In.

A Friend Of Mine Drowned In A Bowl Of Muesli. A Strong Currant Pulled Him In.

A Man Walked Into The Doctor's, The Doctor Said 'i Haven't Seen You In A Long Time' The Man Replied, 'i Know I've Been Ill'.

So A Lorry-load Of Tortoises Crashed Into A Train-load Of Terrapins, I Thought "that's A Turtle Disaster".