My Wife Is A Saint. She's Gandhi.

A Lot Of People Ask Me What My Favorite Episode Of Full House Was, I Always Tell Them: It Was The Last One!

I Have A Feeling I'm Going To Wake Up One Day And Say 'i Can't Do Dirty Stuff Anymore, I Want To Go All Clean.' I'll Do Clean Stuff Too, I Like To Entertain People. Then They Egged Me On; We Shot It At The Laugh Factory.

I Don't Like To Drink Alone 'cause There's Nobody To Fight With.

They Say, Keep Your Enemies Closer. But What If You Live With Them?

The Other Day My Twelve-year-old Says To Me, I Don't Feel Like I'm With You Right Now. You're In The Car With Me, You're Checking Your E-mail, You're Not Listening To Me, I Don't Feel Like I'm With You. And I Say, You Know What? That Was Your Mother's Gripe, Too. And She Was Right. And You're Also Correct. When You Cop To Something, You Get To The Next Level. In This Case, The Next Level Is: I Just Learned Something From My Twelve-year-old.