Never Cry Over Spilt Milk, Because It

Scotch Needs Water Like A Fish Needs A Bicycle.

During One Of My Treks Through Afghanistan, We Lost Our Corkscrew. We Were Compelled To Live On Food And Water For Several Days.

When You Wake Up In The Morning, Smile - And Get It Over With.

All The Men In My Family Were Bearded, And Most Of The Women.

Somebody's Been Putting Pineapple Juice In My Pineapple Juice!