Next To A Shot Of Some Good,

A Child Of Three Cannot Raise Its Chubby Fist To Its Mouth To Remove A Piece Of Carpet Which It Is Through Eating, Without Being Made The Subject Of A Psychological Seminar Of Child-welfare Experts, And Written Up, Along With Five Hundred Other Children Of Three Who Have Put Their Hands To Their Mouths For The Same Reason.

There Is Probably Not More Than One Hundred Dollars In Cash In Circulation Today. That Is, If You Were To Call In All The Bills And Silver And Gold In The Country At Noon Tomorrow And Pile Them On The Table, You Would Find That You Had Just About One Hundred Dollars, With Perhaps Several Canadian Pennies And A Few Peppermint Life Savers.

This Congestion In The Post Offices Is Due To What Are Technically Known As "regulations" But What Are Really A Series Of Acrostics And Anagrams Devised By Some Officials Who Got Around A Table One Night And Tried To Be Funny.

There Is Probably No Moment More Appalling Than That In Which The Tongue Comes Suddenly Upon The Ragged Edge Of A Space From Which The Old Familiar Filling Has Disappeared.

Why Don't You Get Out Of That Wet Coat And Into A Dry Martini?