Next To Gold And Jewelry, Health Is

The Best Contraceptive For Old People Is Nudity.

I'm From Such An Old Family, It's Been Condemned.

I Was The World's Ugliest Baby. I Have Photos Of My Folks Leaving The Hospital With Sacks Over Their Heads... I Asked My Mother How To Turn Off The Electric Fan. She Said 'grab The Blade!

We Have Far Too Many Kids. At One Time In The Playpen There Was Standing-room Only. It Looked Like A Bus Stop For Midgets. It Used To Get So Damp In There, We'd Have A Rainbow Above It.

If My Jeans Could Talk, They'd Plead For Mercy.