None Of Us Kids Had A Middle

It Takes Only One Drink To Get Me Drunk. The Trouble Is, I Can't Remember If It's The Thirteenth Or The Fourteenth.

If I Paid Ten Dollars For A Cigar, First I'd Make Love To It, Then I'd Smoke It.

I Don't Worry About Getting Old. I'm Old Already. Only Young People Worry About Getting Old. When I Was 65, I Had Cupid's Eczema. I Don't Believe In Dying. It's Been Done. I'm Working On A New Exit. Besides, I Can't Die Now - I'm Booked.

At Home We Ate Fish Every Friday, As Catholics Were Then Supposed To Do. Being Jewish, I Compromised. I Wore A Hat When I Ate Fish, Out Of Respect For My Own Religion And The Fish's Family.

Much Later In Life, Though, Gracie Made A Major Contribution To The Opera World. She Stayed Out Of It.