On Ships They Call Them Barnacles; In

He Was So Narrow Minded That If He Fell On A Pin It Would Blind Him In Both Eyes.

Life, In My Estimation, Is A Biological Misadventure That We Terminate On The Shoulders Of Six Strange Men Whose Only Objective Is To Make A Hole In One With You.

A Comedian Who Starts Talking To Himself Becomes His Own Audience. This Is Fatal.

A Committee Is A Group Of People Who Individually Can Do Nothing, But Who, As A Group, Can Meet And Decide That Nothing Can Be Done.

Some Movie Stars Wear Their Sunglasses Even In Church. They're Afraid God Might Recognize Them And Ask For Autographs.