Once You Sleep On Feathers You Can't

If You're From New York And You're Catholic, You're Still Jewish. If You're From Butte Montana And You're Jewish, You're Still Goyisch. The Air Force Is Jewish, The Marine Corps Dangerous Goyisch. Rye Bread Is Jewish, Instant Potatoes, Scary Goyisch. Eddie Cantor Is Goyisch, George Jessel Is Goyisch-coleman Hawkins Is Jewish.

When You're Eight Years Old, Nothing Is Any Of Your Business.

If Something About The Human Body Disgusts You, The Fault Lies With The Manufacturer.

You Got To Pay Your Dues To Get The Joke. Besides, Laughter Is Cheap And Very Portable. If There's A Pogrom, Or They're Blaming You For The Plague, Nothing Is Easier To Pack Than A Sense Of Humor.

I Won't Say Ours Was A Tough School, But We Had Our Own Coroner. We Used To Write Songs Like, "what I'm Going To Do If I Grow Up".