One Of The Ways To Avoid Being

You Realize That Suicide's A Criminal Offense. In Less Enlightened Times They'd Have Hung You For It.

The Garden Of Eden Was A Boggy Swamp Just South Of Croydon. You Can See It Over There.

Now I Tell You The Downside Of This Is You Feel Awful, But The Upside Is You Feel Terrific.

I Would Like To Like To Make One Thing Clear At The Very Outset And That Is, When You Speak Of A Train Robbery, This Involved No Loss Of Train, Merely What I Like To Call The Contents Of The Train, Which Were Pilfered. We Haven't Lost A Train Since 1946, I Believe It Was - The Year Of The Great Snows When We Mislaid A Small One.

Playing Rugby At School I Once Fell On A Loose Ball And, Through Ignorance And Fear, Held On Despite A Fierce Pummelling. After That It Took Me Months To Convince My Team-mates I Was A Coward.