Over 6 Million People Were Evacuated From

According To The L.a. Times, Attorney General John Ashcroft Wants To Take "a Harder Stance" On The Death Penalty. What's A Harder Stance On The Death Penalty? We're Already Killing The Guy? How Do You Take A Harder Stance On The Death Penalty? What, Are You Going To Tickle Him First? Give Him Itching Powder? Put A Thumbtack On The Electric Chair?

The Democrats Say That President Bush Doesn't Have An Exit Strategy For Iraq. Of Course He Does. If Things Don't Go Well, He Exits In November.

The Fda Is Now Warning People Not To Eat Raw Cookie Dough This Holiday Season. Is That How Fat We're Getting In This Country? Our Ovens Are Too Slow Now?

Al Gore Is Coming Out With A Movie About Global Warming Called ' An Inconvenient Truth. ' It's Described As A Detailed Scientific View Of Global Warming. President Bush Said He Just Saw A Film About Global Warming, 'ice Age 2; The Meltdown.' He Said, 'it's So Much Better Than That Boring Al Gore Movie.'

Six Women Have Come Forward That Say Arnold Schwarzenegger Groped Them Without Their Consent. This Proves He Would Be A Hands-on Governor.