Pat Obrien Knows Nothing. Hes On The

It Looks Like Garbage, My Ass. But Trust Me, You're Lucky It's Not Full-frontal.

I Didn't Hang Any Pictures In My Office For A Year Because I Thought That I Would Be Jinxing Myself And Have To Take Them Down The Next Day.

If It's January, I'm Dead In Three Hours. But In June, I'd Be Hungry, But I'd Make It Out. I'd Find My Way Without A Map Or Compass. I Say That With Confidence. I Can Build A Fire Without A Match.

As A Teenager, I Was Very Much A People Pleaser And That Excludes Being Adventuresome At All. I Was A Boy Scout Though And So That's As Adventuresome As I Got.

Sometimes We Have To Actually Say, I Think You're Really Funny, But None Of Your Jokes Are Going To Make It On The Air. So Just Answer My Questions. Seriously.