Please Call Your Second Witness, And Then

Onstage I Do All The Stuff I'd Never Do In Real Life, Like Lashing Out At People Who Make Me Mad Or Freaking Out In A Long Bank Lineup. Performing Allows Me To Fulfill All The Sicko Fantasies I've Ever Had.

Famous Playboy Hugh Hefner Managed To Successfully Stop An Order Of Monks From Operating A Business On His Property. The Police Forced The Friars To Close Down Their Stall, Which Was Outside The Playboy Mansion Where They Had Been Selling Flowers. Said One Friar, Well, If It Was Anyone Else We May Have Gotten Away From It, But, Unfortunately, Only Hugh Can Prevent Florist Friars.

Rudolf The Red-nosed Reindeer, Dead At 53. Over Barcelona Today, The Famed Reindeer Was Hit By A Flock Of Seagulls And A 747. Eyewitnesses Report, That The Reindeer In Spain Was Hit Mainly By The Plane.

Give Me Liberty! Or A Bran Muffin!

The Hills Are Alive With The Sound Of Crap!