Ratings For The Xfl Are So Low

They Say John Kerry Is The First Democratic Presidential Candidate In History To Raise $50 Million In A Three-month Period. Actually, That's Nothing. He Once Raised $500 Million With Two Words: 'i Do.'

Obama Called On Americans To Have More Grandchildren. Probably So There's More Of Them To Pay Off Our Debt.

Good News. President Bush Is Creating Thousands Of New Jobs. Unfortunately, All Of Them Are At The White House.

For The First Time In History, Sex Is More Dangerous Than The Cigarette Afterward.

We Live In What's Called An Open Society, Which Of Course Means They Open Our Emails, Open Our Phone Records, And Open Our Medical Records.