Saying That You Don't Believe In Magic

The 2012 Olympics Is Going To Cost £8 Billion Which Is A Lot Of Money. It'll Probably Bankrupt London. But You Can't Put A Price On Two Bronze Medals In Cycling.

No Matter How Much You Give A Homeless Person For Tea... You Never Get That Tea.

I Think That Comedians, More Than Any Other Type Of Celebrity, Have To Keep Their Humour And Keep Their Feet On The Ground. If They Start Taking Themselves Too Seriously, They're Heading For A Fall.

As Soon As I Did My First Five Minutes Of Stand-up I Knew That I Would Rather Be A Failure At Comedy Than A Success In Marketing.

But What's True About Comedians Is That We've All Got A Huge Hole In Our Personality. In A Room Of 3,000 People, We're The One Person Facing In The Opposite Direction - Yet We Have This Overwhelming Desire To Be Liked.