Self-pity Is Better Than None.

Sex Is Identical To Comedy In That It Involves Timing.

We Californians Are Constantly Accused Of Not Having Seasons, But We Do. We Have Fire, Flood, Mud, And Drought.

Best Way To Get Rid Of Kitchen Odors: Eat Out.

For Fang, Getting Out Of Bed In The Morning Is A Career Move.

We Spend The First Twelve Months Of Our Children's Lives Teaching Them To Walk And Talk And The Next Twelve Telling Them To Sit Down And Shut Up.