The Best Part About Being My Age

To Err Is Human. To Cover It Up Is Weasel.

Your Business Clothes Are Naturally Attracted To Staining Liquids. This Attraction Is Strongest Just Before An Important Meeting.

Management Is Nature's Way Of Removing Idiots From The Productive Flow.

The Best You Can Hope For In A Relationship Is To Find Someone Whose Flaws Are The Sort You Don’t Mind. It Is Futile To Look For Someone Who Has No Flaws, Or Someone Who Is Capable Of Significant Change; That Sort Of Person Exists Only In Our Imaginations.

The Amount Of Energy Spent Laughing At A Joke Should Be Directly Proportional To The Hierarchical Status Of The Joke Teller.