The Old Water Heater In My Dressing

As The Colonel And I Sat Swapping Stories In The Plane, A Jet Aircraft Buzzed Past Our Window. I Asked The Colonel What Type Of Aircraft It Was, And He Said, "don't Worry About It, Bob. . . If You Can See It, It's Obsolete."

Jimmy Stewart Could Have Been A Good Golfer, But He Speaks So Slowly That By The Time He Yells 'fore!' The Guy He's Hit Is Already In An Ambulance On The Way To The Hospital.

I Don't Feel Old. I Don't Feel Anything Till Noon. That's When It's Time For My Nap.

I Once Showed Pat Bradley My Swing And Said, 'what Do I Do Next?' Pat Replied, 'wait Till The Pain Dies Down.'

President Eisenhower Has Given Up Golf For Painting. It Takes Fewer Strokes.