The Only Thing That Gets Me High

Any Religion Whose Messiah’s Name Isn’t Recognized By Microsoft Word Can’t Be That Much Of A Threat.

I Wrote Things For The School's Newspaper, And - Like All Teenagers - I Dabbled In Poetry.

Will Herman Cain Become The First Black President That I Acknowledge? I Call Him A Dark Horse Because He's An Unlikely Candidate Who Surged Forward, And Not Because He's A Horse.

Vodka Eyeballing Sounds Great, But It's A Slippery Slope. Next, You'll Be Scotch Nostriling, Tequila Nippling And, Before You Know It, Jager Tainting.

You Seem Cynical Because You're Always Talking About That Selfish Behavior That's Dressed Up As Altruism. It Doesn't Mean There Isn't Altruism. It Just Means That It's Harder To Make Jokes About Altruism.