The Worst Thing About Losing This Job:

Soup Is Just A Way Of Screwing You Out Of A Meal.

I Tried To Log On To The Obamacare Website Today. I Don't Think I'm Doing It Right. I Lost 300 Bucks Playing Texas Hold 'em.

The White House Is Defending President Obama's Sports Activities Over The Past Week, Saying That Everyone Needs Leisure Time. Thanks To These Economic Policies, 9.5 Percent Of Americans Have All The Leisure Time They Need.

Hillary Clinton Said That Her Childhood Dream Was To Be An Olympic Athlete. But She Was Not Athletic Enough. She Said She Wanted To Be An Astronaut, But At The Time They Didn't Take Women. She Said She Wanted To Go Into Medicine, But Hospitals Made Her Woozy. Should She Be Telling People This Story? I Mean She's Basically Saying She Wants To Be President Because She Can't Do Anything Else.

Scientists Say They Have Developed A Car That Can Run On Water. The Only Catch Is, The Water Has To Come From The Gulf Of Mexico.