The Worst Thing About Losing This Job:

I Watched That New Reality Show On Abc With Charlie Gibson, 'america's Next Top Vice President.' ... Oh, What An Exciting Show That Is! Did You See Sarah Palin's Interview With Charlie Gibson? Did You All Watch That? In Fact, John Mccain Was Watching It At Home, And At One Point, He Turned To His Wife And Said, 'she Looks Really Familiar.'

Actually, Joe Biden Looked Pretty Good. In Fact, Joe's Popularity Has Gone From 1% To 2% Last Week To 3% Today. At This Rate, He Could Win The Nomination By The Year 2032.

A Team Of British Lawyers Has Now Concluded That The Declaration Of Independence Was Illegal, And The American Colonies Had No Right To Secede From England. Well, You Thought Our Court System Was Backed Up.

The Big Question Now Is Who Will Take Power In Afghanistan Once The Taliban Is Defeated. I Was Thinking, How About Al Gore? He's Not Doing Anything, He Needs A Job, And He's Already Got The Beard.

A Hiker Who Was Lost In A Blizzard Said He Stayed Alive By Digging A Snow Tunnel And Burning Dollar Bills For Warmth. Today He Was Offered A Job As President Obama's Economic Adviser.