There Are Many Ways To Die In

You Know You're Getting Old When You Stoop To Tie Your Shoelaces And Wonder What Else You Could Do While You're Down There.

Say Goodnight Gracie.

I'd Rather Be A Flop At Show Business Than To Be A Success At Something I Didn't Like.

When I Was Young I Was Called A Rugged Individualist. When I Was In My Fifties I Was Considered Eccentric. Here I Am Doing And Saying The Same Things I Did Then And I'm Labeled Senile.

The Secret Of A Good Sermon Is To Have A Good Beginning And A Good Ending, Then Having The Two As Close Together As Possible.