There's Always Someone In Every Group Of

I'm Not Giving Up On Life. I'm Giving Up On Today.

Ma'am, Are You Trying To Molest Me Via Drivethru?

You Have To Realize, When You're A Comedian, That You Have To Have A Thick Skin. And Trust Me, Being Onstage In Front Of People Is Already Difficult Enough. Somebody's Personal Attack In An Email Is Not As Hard As Getting Onstage.

I Got Home From Work Today And Took Like A One Hundred Hour Nap. No You Did Not. You'd Be Very Sick If You Were Taking One Hundred Hour Naps. That's A Coma! If You Said You Took A Coma After Work I'd Be Able To Follow The Story.

Every Joke Has Its Origin - The Punching People In The Face Joke. It Hurts Like Hell To Get Punched In The Face.