There's No Down Time Any More.

I've Got Nothing Against Tattoos. I Don't Have One Myself. If I Did, It Would Be Right There Next To My Watch. It Would Say "your Wife's Birthday Is August 2nd, Your Anniversary Is September 18th, Don't Let Ron White Drive Your Car Again."

You Might Be A Redneck If You've Ever Hauled A Can Of Paint To The Top Of A Water Tower To Defend Your Sister's Honor.

If You Think The Last Four Words To The National Anthem Are " Gentleman, Start Your Engines", You Might Be A Redneck.

You Might Be A Redneck If You've Ever Worn A Dress That Is Strapless With A Bra That Isn't.

I Have Never Been Jealous. Not Even When My Dad Finished Fifth Grade A Year Before I Did.