There's No Down Time Any More.

I Used To Say That Whenever People Heard My Southern Accent, They Always Wanted To Deduct 100 Iq Points.

You Might Be A Redneck If More Than One Living Relative Is Named After A Southern Civil War General.

Buying A Used Rental Car Is Kind Of Like Going To A House Of Ill Repute Looking For A Wife. Anything That's Been Driven That Hard By That Many People, You Really Don't Want To Put Your Key In It.

My Wife Is So Analytical With Raising Kids, And I Am Not. My Feeling Is If They Turn Out Good, Then That Means I Was A Good Daddy And Put A Lot Of Effort Into It. If They Turn Out Bad, It Means They Took After Her Side Of The Family.

You Might Be A Redneck If You Think That The Styrofoam Cooler Is The Greatest Invention Of All Time.