Time And Tide And Hookers Wait For

When I Was A Kid I Got No Respect. My Mother Breast Fed Me Through A Straw.

My Wife Only Has Sex With Me For A Purpose. Last Night It Was To Time An Egg.

I Have Good Looking Kids. Thank Goodness My Wife Cheats On Me.

My Uncle's Dying Wish - He Wanted Me On His Lap. He Was In The Electric Chair.

When I Was A Kid, I Never Went To Disneyland. My Ol' Man Told Me Mickey Mouse Died In A Cancer Experiment.